07.02.06 | 2 Comments

Attention, all gluttons for punishment!

Are you tired of cleaning the litter box? Of having a nice home? Have I got a deal for you.

Step right up and take a look at the world’s two most terrible pets. I’ll throw in a good cat if you’re willing to take the awful dogs.

If you like

  • ~mud
  • ~wasted effort cleaning your house
  • ~half-eaten, litter-covered cat poo on your freshly vacuumed floor
  • ~being deafened by the shrill barking of a 4-month-old lab alternating with
  • ~the gruff growls of a 4-year-old lab
  • ~your party appetizers being stolen off the kitchen counter
  • ~outright disobedience and
  • ~the most obnoxious neuroticism known to all animals

then these dogs are for you.

Need exercise? Maybe chasing eight legs down a busy street in the rain is more your speed. Too many shoes and clothes? Let Sarge in your closet – he’ll have you down to the bare essentials in no time. Feeling blue? Not for long! Listen to Chief’s version of The Saddest Story Ever Told as he whines the day away. Your problems will disappear by comparison.

Whether you’re studying, working, cooking, cleaning, eating, sleeping, or trying to watch a movie, they’re always there with you, usually in your face, needing to pee, or wiping drool on your clean pants. Perfect for anyone with a busy schedule.

Interested? Come take them from the yard while I’m away. When you bring them back (as you inevitably will), please make sure they have been trained.


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