Dear Zoe,

You are the light of my life. For real. I’ll do anything for you.

However. If you would please understand something, our family will be much happier: Mama needs her sleep.

The reports are that you sleep for Daddy when Mama’s away. You sleep for your Nana and Gramps. You sleep for your Gigi. The only person for whom you do not sleep is your desperately sleep-deprived Mama.

Lately you have been napping, which I appreciate so much, but these naps are unpredictable enough that I cannot possibly count on them, whether I need to schedule our day, get tasks done, or nap myself. Because as soon as I want a nap, you do not, and as soon as you nap, I cannot quiet my mind, which is not actually your problem.

The thing is, now that you have a bedtime, I am hopeful. I even go to bed earlier myself. But this is a false hope. Each night my dreams of sleep are shattered when you wake up a short two hours later with the intent of nursing all night long, flopping around with what might be impressive acrobatics were it not the middle of the night and were you not tethered to what used to be a somewhat sensitive area of my body.

I’m pretty sure we feed you enough, and at this point the milk is not necessary. Your all-nighters leave no milk for the day; then you are frustrated and make many more attempts to nurse than I believe are useful, which in turn frustrates me.

Let’s make a deal. To quote one of my all time favorite movies, “LET ME SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.” You, Daddy, and I will get better rest if you remain in your crib, which may cause you some stress at first, but I think this could be a very important growth opportunity for all of us.

With all of my love,
Mama