So I’m kind of on a different 24-hour schedule. Can I still play NaBloPoMo?

There has been no other vomit since last night. Zoe was her usual charming self, even playing peekaboo with our interviewee guest this evening. I spent a whole 10 minutes at the interview social tonight when I went to retrieve said guest. Yay me.

I have a lot to say. Today we had a Global Health Initiative lecture on malnutrition and other problems affecting children around the world. Major bum out. I mean major. It made me want to hug Zoe and never let her go. I’m so thankful that she does not know such things. At the same time, I want to hold all those kids and fix it for them. My heart hurts for them. The pediatrician who spoke said a few times that there’s ONE child in the world. I think that’s true, and especially once you’re a parent. I know that I will use my career to be part of the solution to these problems. That’s the good news. I can help a little bit some day. In the mean time, I feel pretty ineffective and helpless.

It makes me think about why it is that we’re here and they’re there, and not just in any particular geographic location. Kids in this country are born every day. Some go home to capable parents who can feed and love them and keep them safe, while others go to an environment to face atrocities most of us never even imagine. And that’s here. In other countries - war, true poverty, disease, hunger… I’ll never know what puts them there and why. There is no satisfactory answer. Only that it has to change.

There are stages I go through (and probably true for many people), much like grief, when I visit the world’s problems in thought - shock (They’re LIVING LIKE THIS?!), anger (How could this happen? Who is responsible?!), bargaining (Maybe I can adopt all those kids, send money, build a hospital or school…), and extreme sadness. Eventually I get busy enough to be distracted and become complacent, because let’s face it - otherwise I’m a big Debbie Downer, and I’m essentially shaking tiny fists at the Universe. But I will not reach acceptance. There can be no acceptance.

This should serve as a reminder for me to talk about my philosophy about the differences in thought that forms attitudes toward social policy… It’s too late tonight.