Sometimes this saves her from punishment made in irritation. We have to be firm, but it is SO HARD to keep a straight face with some of the things she does.

Yesterday we were making Homesick Texan’s biscuits. She was very helpful and involved, and throughout the process she told me how much she likes to make things with me. I know. My heart was a big puddle of happy. So I reprimanded her lightly when she started eating the small pieces of butter she was cutting for the dough.

We beat, rolled out, and cut the dough using my great-grandmother’s tools and carefully arranged them on the cookie sheets. (With each lovely circle she made, she reminded me that she “sure needs a coin for that one!” — she can earn coins for good deeds to go in her Hello Kitty bank.) The pan with fewer biscuits needed a more decorative touch, and we made a flower. Zoe decided it needed a dough stem. So I borrowed some dough from one of the larger biscuits and she made a stem while I went to get my camera.

When I returned, she told me, “I did NOT eat the biscuit muffins,” and she held up the cookie sheet for me to take a picture. There was no stem.

“Where is the stem?” I asked.
“I put it right there,” she said, pointing to an appropriate, but empty, place on the cookie sheet.
“And where is it now?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes darted.
“Did you eat the stem?”
“Um, yes.”

I appreciated that she told the truth, and I didn’t care if they had a stem or not, and she hadn’t lied: she did not eat the biscuit muffins – only the stem. (The biscuits turned out beautifully. Make them once you can feel your blood just flying through those arteries and you’d like to slow it down.)

Later she asked for noodles; specifically, she wanted to make pasketti noodles with my assistance. Directing her toady from atop her stool, we boiled water, discussed the repercussions of the various heat-induced injuries that are possible when using the stove, and broke the dry noodles in half for her later convenience in eating. When the timer went off, she sampled and approved the pasketti for draining. I took the pot to the sink to do said job, and when I came back to the stove, she was quickly removing her finger from the softened butter, which was waiting in the wings for its time to shine.

“Zoe, are you eating the butter again?”
Her lips are glistening when she tells me no.
“Are you telling the truth?”
She waits a beat, looks down at the ground, and quietly says, “No.”

I’m glad again that she is admitting her lie and getting around to the truth, and when she lifts those eyes of hers to meet mine, coupled with an impish smile, the only thing I can do is hug her.

A Cleaner Pancake

3/4 cup oatmeal flour (blended old fashioned rolled oats; I used a food processor)
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup whole dark rye flour
1 tbsp corn meal
1 tbsp brown sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp kosher salt
2 eggs
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup sour cream (or Greek yogurt)
1 tsp lemon juice
3/4 cup 1% milk
1/4 cup sliced almonds (toasted, if you prefer)
(1 tbsp ground flaxseed would have been a good addition.)

Preheat nonstick griddle or lightly greased/sprayed pan to 400 degrees F. Mix dry ingredients together. Mix wet ingredients together. Combine dry and wet and mix well. Fold in the almonds. Let batter sit for five minutes while you cut veggies for an omelet or something.

Spoon thick batter onto hot griddle; let cook. Flip when it looks ready, and cook a little longer. (Cut into your first one so you know – that’s what I usually do with a new recipe.)

Try it with some fresh berries or a simply-fruit-type jam. Four adults and a Zoe had plenty with this batch and some sides – I think it made 9 or 10 4-inch pancakes. I’ll edit if I find that to be different in the future.

Edit: They taste good! See comments.

Pancakes
makes 10-12 4″ pancakes
1 cup AP flour*
1 tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 tbsp packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk**
2 tbsp vegetable oil or melted butter

Whisk together the dry ingredients. Whisk together the wet ingredients. Add the wet to the dry and stir well. Let the batter sit while the griddle or pan heats up.

This is one of the two uses I have for a non-stick surface (the other is cooking eggs). I use medium heat on the stove or 325-350F on a griddle. Get it hot enough so that when you sprinkle water on the surface, the droplets dance about to a fast beat and quickly evaporate.

Pour 1/2 cup portions of batter onto the pan/griddle and cook until bubbles surface. Flip. Cook until golden brown. (The first one is always a flop. The next one will be better.)

Serve with Maple Whip.

Maple Whip
I came up with this one weekend when we were running low on maple syrup AND butter, which I discovered after having made my waffles (pancake batter from above cooked in a waffle maker). We did have cream. I thought, “What’s butter but cream beaten within an inch of its life?” So I whipped up about a half cup of heavy cream, adding a pinch of salt and the only syrup we had remaining in the jar, which amounted to a couple of tablespoons.

*Sometimes I use part King Arthur’s white whole wheat flour; I’d say up to half the quantity of that and half all-purpose

** OR 1 cup milk + 1 tbsp lemon juice
OR 3/4 cup milk + 1/4 cup yogurt

UPDATE: This weekend I made banana pancakes – I just added one large, ripe banana, mashed, and 1/4 cup of rolled oats. I liked it.

Over the past 13 years I have done a lot of baking. Despite many favorite recipes, (much to Joel’s chagrin) I rarely make the same thing twice, and I’m always up for trying a new one. I do believe, however, that I have arrived at a standby for brownies and pancakes.

Brownies today.

The brownies come from a combination of the recipe on the back of the Nestle Cocoa can and my general adoration of brown sugar. I have made this recipe in several different pans in response to cravings for varying thicknesses of brownie. Chocolate chips, nuts, and swirls of Nutella or other nut butters are fantastic additions, too. You can also use this recipe to make a stellar blondie – just substitute 1/2 cup more flour in place of the cocoa powder.

My Favorite Brownies
1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup or 12 tablespoons) unsalted butter
2/3 + 1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 large eggs
2 tbsp water or coffee
2 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup cocoa (natural or dutch – either or a combo)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/3 cup AP flour*

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Melt butter over medium heat in a small saucepan. Take it off the heat and stir in the sugars, salt, and cocoa powder. Let it cool for a bit while you contemplate and prepare your pan.

If you’re an edge person or like a thinner, chewy brownie, more like a cookie, use a half sheet pan (usually 18×13 inches) and check them after baking for 15 minutes. For a normal thickness brownie, use a 9×13 pan and bake for 18 to 25 minutes. For thick, chewy, fudgy brownies, use an 8×8 pan and bake for closer to 35 minutes. However you like them, line the pan with parchment (NOT wax) paper (best) OR foil, greased (I use spray).

Whisk together your flour and baking powder. Now that everything else is ready, the butter/sugar mixture is probably cool enough to add your eggs, water or coffee, and vanilla. Stir ferociously with a wooden spoon until well beaten. All that stirring gives that parchment-like top to the brownies. Add the dry to the wet ingredients and stir, but not too much. Now would be the time to add up to 1/2 cup of chocolate chips or nuts, if you like.

Once everything is mixed together well, spread the batter into the pan. Now would be the time to glob on some spoonfuls of Nutella and swirl around on top of the batter. Now put them in the oven’s hands. Set a timer and go distract yourself. If at any point you smell chocolate, go check on them just to be sure they’re not overbaking.

After the recommended time, check for doneness with the toothpick poke into the sweet sweet goodness (NOT inside a chocolate chip or gob of Nutella). If your brownies are still more batter than baked, check them every couple of minutes until they’re done. If your toothpick comes back with just a couple of little crumbs, you’re done with the oven. Remove the pan from the oven and let the brownies bask in their pan for a good 20 minutes.

Now, this brownie recipe is not for the faint of heart or the impatient. You must allow these to cool. Once they’re set from their 20 minute pan sit, remove them with the parchment paper or foil, and let them sit on a pizza paddle or wire rack or plate until they’re cool. I have eaten many a hot baked brownie or cake only to find out that given enough time to cool, we would be on another level entirely. It will be worth it; I promise. Once they’re cool, cut them with a sharp knife and enjoy.

*Sometimes I use part King Arthur’s white whole wheat flour; I’d say up to half the quantity of that and half all-purpose.

UPDATE: Jenna has made this recipe with plain yogurt in place of the eggs and reports a good result. I would love to hear of any other variations anyone tries!

After half an episode of Sesame Street and no signs of going back to sleep, I started a shower to cleanse my gunked hair. Zoe had designs on a bath, however, so we took a bath. She ate a good breakfast (fed herself oatmeal with a spoon very neatly). For the next hour or so she whined and grunted nonstop, not really wanting to be held or be alone, sleepy but not sleeping, and generally playing the role of an amateur terrorist. Joel is dealing with Army stuff, so we’re trying to stay out of his irritable way.

So I was grouchy anyway. I thought we might make it to the store to get some cocoa powder to make these cookies. (How the hell I am out of cocoa powder is anyone’s guess.) The outing plus the baking was sure to cheer us up. I could take the goods to work later, I thought, since my baking attempt earlier in the week did not go as planned.

Then the office of our (hopefully, I guess) future residence called; they need more documents, the girl informs me rather hatefully. Telling myself it’s better than all the paperwork to buy a house, I bucked up and got everything together, including bothering my parents who are guarantors on the place (another long and stupid story). This was supposed to be easy – we will be renting from the same property management company, and I have a connection, but so far they have been a bit of a pita.

Continuing. My Mom was coming by to drop off a document, so I decided to take Zoe sandal shopping while we waited. We needed to get out of this apartment and clear our heads.

Things perked up from there: Zoe experienced her first BOGO event, getting a pair of pink tennies and white sandals with hearts, and on the way back, an adorable grandparently couple strolled with us, admiring Zoe and showering her with attention.

I received a call from work that I would be put on call for the shift, which normally frustrates me a little (especially when Zoe is tugging on my last nerve), but I was kind of relieved. There is a patient there who ruffled my feathers yesterday, and she won’t be leaving anytime soon. Apparently I have the same name as someone she dislikes intensely, and she can’t separate us in her mind. Normally I just shrug off the patients’ tenseness; they are ill, I’m there to help them, and it isn’t personal if they have a problem with me (or hasn’t been so far). I am professional, did not let on that she had ruffled my feathers, and will deal with it if I do go in today. But I would rather make cookies at this particular time.

WOW I am long-winded today. The point is that Zoe has gone down for a nap, it’s overcast outside, and my documents have been faxed; I think I might be able to take a nap myself, albeit brief after this post… And later, we might try those cookies.

This week (Tuesday) marked the one year anniversary of my last day of chemo. I think from now on any remembrances of this or my surgery or my hair falling out will be nothing more than maybe thinking about it, but the year marks have been important to me, and I’m glad it’s over.

Now, for a carne guisada recipe I made last night and loved. The victory is that it was tender, not chewy.

Carne Guisada

2 lb chuck roast, trimmed to bite sized pieces My package said “BEEF FOR STEW” from the commissary, and I cut it to half-inch pieces
4 tbsp AP flour I would use more for a thicker stew, but this was enough.
2 tbsp canola oil This seemed like a lot of oil; could use less.
1 large onion, chopped
1 cup chopped celery I didn’t use this as we don’t like celery much.
3-4 jalapenos, chopped (no seeds or stems)
2 1/2 cups beef stock
2 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 tsp cumin I ended up using a full tsp – it needed it.
2 tsp chili powder Could use less – I prefer more cumin flavor.
I added a minced clove of garlic.
Next time I might add some chopped red bell pepper for sweetness.

Toss the meat in flour. Brown in hot oil. Add other ingredients. Bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium low and simmer, covered, for about an hour and a half. Take off the lid and simmer another half hour or until desired thickness. Makes six servings.

She was a tender guisada; not quite so tender to melt in the mouth, but it didn’t require much work from the tooth. I’m not sure if this matters here, but I know room temperature meat grills better (doesn’t shrink up), so I browned it after it had come to room temperature. I served it with rice to soak up the stew, and of course, a spinach salad.

Suggestions from any veteran guisada makers are appreciated!

Dear Blue Fish,
I was unable to find complete nutritional information and ingredient lists for several menu items on your website. For health reasons, I would like to know if there is vegetable shortening (or other partially hyrdrogenated oils) in your signature delicious biscuits. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Blake Motley Watts

Dear Mrs. [hooray! - someone was paying attention to the provided information!] Watts,
Thank you for your interest in Blue Fish; it is always a pleasure to hear from our guests.
Unfortunately, we do not make all of our recipes available to the public, as they are proprietary. Our success greatly depends on the confidentiality of our recipes, so I will not be able to provide you with the recipe you requested.
Please visit our website to see what recipes we do make available: http://www.bluefish.com/seafood/recipes.asp
Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us.
Sincerely,
Missy
Guest Relations Representative

Dear Missy,
Thank you for your reply. I understand not being able to discuss the recipe; I wanted to know if there is partially hydrogenated oil in the biscuits, which I may be able to tell from the nutrition information (by the breakdown of the different fat grams). Is that available for the biscuits?
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Blake Watts

Dear Mrs. Watts,
Thank you for your interest in Blue Fish; it is always a pleasure to hear from our guests.
Blue Fish’s menu is all about giving our guests a wide range of choices, from lighter alternatives to more indulgent foods. We offer nutritional information on all LightHouse menu items. This information – on total calories and grams of carbohydrate, fiber and fat – is listed on our menu and also on our Web site.
We are currently updating our menus and nutritional data base. We are also currently evaluating the most effective way to communicate nutritional information. Therefore, I am not able to provide you with nutritional information – other than our LightHouse menu – at this time.
Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us.
Sincerely,
Barbara
Guest Relations Representative

Dear Barbara,
Thank you for your reply. I will wait until this information is available so I can make informed choices about my diet.
Sincerely,
Blake Watts

And so it goes. In a perfect world, everything would be good for us, but it’s not. I’m not asking that they not use the stuff or that they divulge their top secret recipes (though I have made my own, certainly more healthy, version at home) – I just want to know if, on the rare occasion that I visit their establishment, I can, in good conscience, partake. I shan’t until I know for sure; it doesn’t look promising.

If I were a real go-getter activist, I would write letters to all the food manufacturing and serving companies asking them to eliminate trans fats from their recipes; however, I believe those that will change will do so by 2006 anyway due to the new labeling guidelines. The rest will suffer lower profits as the public becomes more aware, and eventually will change, not out of concern for public health, but for the financial health of their companies. That is, if we consumers become aware and give a damn, which I think we should.

Here’s as activist as I’ll get unless we’re talking in person or you solicit it from me. (Note to self: don’t talk to Blake.) So that you don’t have to sift through the information in the links on my site, I’ll condense it for you. (Please remember that while I am very interested and well read in this topic, I am in no other way credentialed to provide dietary advice.) When it comes to fats, we all need them, but healthy ones in moderation. Choose mono- and polyunsaturated fats such as olive, canola, and nut oils. Limit saturated fats (found in animal products) and trans fats (found in many processed foods – look for “partially hydrogenated” on the label). With the new labeling, if one serving of a product has less than 0.5 grams trans fat, it can be listed as 0 grams, so keep track of portions. The rest of a healthy lifestyle is common sense to me, and probably to most people if one is really honest with oneself – veggies, lean protein, whole grain carbohydrates, and exercise. Not easy to follow all the time, but common sense.

If you’re like me, you may find yourself eating cereal that has printed on the box, “Now with tastier bran twigs!” Joel calls food of this ilk “WAD“.

I love pizza, and perfecting its creation has occupied many a night in my house. I make my crust from scratch, taking the time and pride I feel is due. Most chefs worth their salt will tell you that a pizza stone, preheated in the hottest of ovens, is the next best thing to a wood-burning pizza oven, so I made it my business to have a pizza stone. The first one was my parents’ stone which relocated with me to College Station; it was cracked shortly thereafter. Still, a large chunk of it was salvageable, and we kept it the rest of college, though it got very little use and was eventually tossed.

A baking sheet worked just fine for pizzas while we lived in California. My parents gave me a pizza set shortly after we moved to San Antonio, and I used it precisely twice with success before it cracked. This time my only offense was using a spatula to remove the pizza from it (as it burned prematurely, by the way); I did nothing outside the realm of pizza stone acceptable behaviors. The pizza was ruined, crying ensued, Joel called the local pizzeria (which is probably what he wanted in the first place), and we called it a day. I swore off pizza stones.

Alton Brown of the Food Network suggests using a ninety-nine cent quarry stone instead of a “pizza stone”. I value Alton’s advice on most things, so I followed it. My quarry stone cracked on its debut. I swore off pizza stones. (The first pizza that night burned on the cracked stone, so I made the second one on a baking sheet, and while carrying it to the table, I tripped on my slippers, dropped everything cheese-side down on the carpet, and burned my arm. I have a scar. We were also expecting guests that night, a couple, our only new friends here, who canceled at the very last minute with a very lame excuse; after a few rounds of phone tag I swore them off as well.)

I was perfectly happy using my half sheet and Silpat, prebaking the crust a bit to ensure doneness and stability before loading the sauce and toppings, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a pizza set, with a pizza peel included (this was the clencher), at my favorite home store to which I had remaining value on a gift card. I decided to give the pizza stone another chance.

This evening, after reading the instructions for my new stone just to make sure I did everything correctly, I assembled my pizzas. This set, like the one my parents gave me, came with a metal rack for the stone, which confused me at first because I’ve always heard never to move it while it’s hot for risk of cracking it or burning oneself. No drastic temperature changes. But these instructions said to remove it from the oven (with mitts, of course) and place it on the rack, carry it to the table, and to use the included pizza cutter directly on the stone.

The pizza peel experience was exquisite; the pizza transferred beautifully. A few minutes into the cooking, I turned on the oven light and looked at it. “How pleasant,” I thought. “It didn’t fall apart or spill cheese in the transfer, it’s browning nicely, there’s no burni-” CRACK.

Usually if one person manages to break four different pizza stones, I would say it’s his or her fault, but I accept no blame here. I was smart enough to keep the receipt and box this time; it will be going back per the guarantee. I’m keeping the peel on principle, though from now on I’ll be assembling my pizzas on the baking sheet as described before to minimize my adventures (notice the word “hazardous”) in pizza making.

Whoa, while you’re there, check this out.

A funny thing happened once I stopped using trans fat: I forgot about saturated fat, sodium, sugar, and calories. Occasionally I remember them long enough to make a healthy meal or two (much to Joel’s dismay). But usually I’m the girl scouring the ice cream freezer for ingredient lists devoid of “partially hyrdrogenated oil”, finally deciding on some flavor of Ben & Jerry’s. At least they’re environmentally conscious. Somehow that makes eating full-fat, full-sugar ice cream acceptable. Right? To our credit, we eat less when it’s full-flavored.

I’m constantly conflicted which causes me to be a walking contradiction. I know just about all the facts about nutrition, and I probably make a total nuisance of myself trying to share this information with others (I mean well, I promise). Putting the knowledge into practice, however, is another matter entirely. There’s just so much information out there that it’s difficult to condense it into a realistically liveable solution. I figure there’s a happy medium somewhere. So we eat lots of fish and vegetables, and for dessert, we have homemade calorie bomb cookies with unsweetened organic soy milk.

This is a very easy, versatile soup that is also nutritious and great as leftovers! It can be vegetarian (adding rice makes a more complete protein with beans), or you can add cooked chicken with the cilantro. I’m a garlic and cilantro fan, but they can be left out or reduced depending on your taste. If you like spicy foods, you can use a can of Rotel as some of the diced tomatoes, or extra diced green chiles. Make it your own!

Cinco de Mayo Soup

1 medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium bell pepper (or poblano pepper), any color, diced
oil for sauteeing
45 oz chicken or vegetable broth
1 tsp kosher salt (or regular salt)
1/2 tsp black pepper
dashes of chili powder and cumin (optional)
28 oz canned diced tomatoes
11 oz can corn niblets (or frozen)
1 can diced green chiles
15 oz can black beans
1 cup chopped cilantro
1 -2 cups cooked rice (optional)
tortilla chips, shredded cheese, and sour cream for serving (optional)

In a large soup pot or dutch oven, sautee the onion, garlic, and bell pepper in hot oil until tender. Add the broth, seasonings, tomatoes, corn, and beans. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Add cilantro, and the rice if it’s precooked and cold. (Otherwise, add hot rice right before serving.) Reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Serve atop crumbled tortilla chips with cheese and sour cream, or whatever makes you happy!